Effective Communication

Talk is Cheap—Communication is Priceless
Nine rules to more effective communication.

We know more times than not, some of the largest problems stem from a "failure to communicate." And when communication breaks down, the results aren't always so amusing. The toll such miscommunication places on personal and professional relationships is incalculable. Apply some of the following rules, you’ll have far fewer ‘failures to communicate’:

1. Look for common ground. The goal of communication is to connect with another person. To do so means that you must know where that person is and where they're coming from. Accept the fact that everybody has his or her own agenda and there is little you can do to change it. Talk to them on their own level and watch the effectiveness of your conversation skyrocket.
2. Listen. Talk only half as much as you listen. Don't spend time while the other person is talking, playing out what you are going to say or looking for an opening to say your piece. Keep the other person engaged. That means you have to concentrate totally on what the other person is saying verbally, physically and emotionally.
3. Really listen. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Get rid of the personal assumptions, judgments and beliefs that color what you hear and the way you hear it.
4. Avoid distractions. To really hear what the other person is saying takes discipline. Avoid interrupting. Let the other person finish their thought. Don't finish their sentences or put words in their mouth. Be patient and show genuine respect for them.
5. Clarify. There are numerous ways to tactfully keep the conversation moving. Reframe the speaker's content to ensure you heard what you thought you heard. Don't assume anything. Ask questions that get to the bottom of someone's real concern or agenda.
6. Maintain credibility. Be sincere in your dialogue. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be open, honest and candid. If you don't know the answer, say so. If you say you're going to do something, do it. Let your actions support your words.
7. Stay cool. In the face of what might be perceived as a personal attack, remain calm and collected. Don't take such assaults personally, don't respond in kind. Try to get to the root of the problem and address it.
8. Be positive. Don't talk about others behind their backs. If you do, you will eventually gain a reputation for this type of behavior and lose the trust and respect of others. Refrain from offensive language or anything that might offend someone else.
9. Align your actions with your words. It's not just what you say but how you say it. Make sure the tone of your voice, your posture, your gestures and your movements support your words.