Dealing with Conflict

Turning Conflict to Your Advantage
12 rules to help you conquer life's daily battles.

Conflict is a part of daily life. To be successful, it’s important that you deal with it appropriately. The following guidelines will help you shape your response in a positive fashion leading to a more productive work and home life.

1. Ground yourself. Having a personal mission statement that clearly articulates who you are and where you are going will help provide guidance and direction when conflict even occurs.
2. Look for warning signs. Be aware of your own personal strengths and weaknesses and how they shape your response. For instance, if you’re perpetually late, start leaving a little earlier than normal so that you’re not stressed when you start the day. Likewise, set realistic deadlines for yourself and others.
3. Stay in control. Reframe stressful situations to keep your composure. Instead of overreacting when someone cuts you off on your morning commute, wave them over instead.
4. Keep a positive outlook. Expect good things to happen, and they will. More often than not, attitude defines the outcome.
5. Maintain a sense of humor. Laugh it off, it’s a much better response than hysterics.
6. Establish ground rules. When conflict happens, set goals for how to resolve it. What would happen if we don't fix this? What would a successful resolution look like? Look for common ground. Keep focused on a positive, solution-based outcome.
7. Drill down to the roots. Don’t treat the symptoms, cure the disease. Get everyone involved to agree on the root of the problem and you’ll be much closer to a resolution.
8. Think win-win. One party does not have to win and the other lose. Compromise is often the best solution.
9. Eliminate emotions. Separate your feelings from the problem. Logic and rational thought is required for a viable solution.
10. Brainstorm. There might be a variety of viable solutions. Challenge yourself and others to be creative about the possibilities available to you.
11. Concentrate on what you can control. Focus your attention and activities where you can make a difference. Don't get caught up in areas beyond your control.
12. Take action. Once you've arrived at a win-win solution, accept it and implement it. Don't second-guess. Make sure each person involved takes responsibility for agreeing with the decision.